By Shaunti Feldhahn
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And when we realize that we’ve blown it, we can acknowledge our fault and ask for forgiveness. While we might be tempted to push and prod, several men recommended otherwise. ’ Men don’t want to be told how they are feeling! ” Instead the men recommended saying something like, “I’m sorry I did that—that was disrespectful. ” It’s not just for them, but for us Consider this man’s plea: “She has to make me feel respected so that I can command respect out in the world. ” If a man’s wife believes in him, he can conquer the world—or at least his little corner of it.
Even as we help our husbands understand that we have a learning curve on this, we should make every effort to filter our words through a “disrespect meter” before they pass our lips. Need #4: Respect in public. Now we come to one of the most important points of the book. There appears to be an epidemic of public disrespect for men, and the biggest culprit is not television, movies, or other media, but the women who are supposed to love their men most. Dozens of men told me how painful it is when their wives criticize them in public.
Eggerichs says. ’ So we’ve come to think that love should be unconditional, but respect must be earned. ” Notice that one of the main biblical passages on marriage—in Ephesians 5—never tells the wife to love her husband, and it never tells the husband to respect his wife (presumably because we each already tend to give what we want to receive). Instead, over and over, it urges the husband to love his wife and urges the wife to respect her husband and his leadership. Women often tend to want to control things, which, unfortunately, men tend to interpret as disrespect and distrust (which, if we’re honest with ourselves, it sometimes is).